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By Francisco Zepeda Trujillo
We frequently hear that nothing is true or lie, that everything depends on the eye of the beholder. Also, frequently this phrase makes a lot of sense. The points of view of who is watching, past experiences, personal interests, moods or the attitude of how we face life makes us perceive reality differently. We can easily find situations that confirm it: a half full or half empty glass, a canvas with spots and doodles that can be worth millions depending on who signs it, a cold winter day in which the kids go to school with hats and jackets because we are at 10ºC or a sunny day in which people go out to the park in shorts, miniskirts, sandals and t-shirts because the winter is over and we are only at -2ºC. However, it would be interesting to ask ourselves if really “everything” depends of the eye of the beholder.
Kids games full of imagination and creativity in which practically everything is possible sometimes are interrupted by a strong “it’s not fair!” They have their own rules, explicit and implicit codes that allow the game to move on. In hide-and-seek, the one searching turns to the wall, closes his eyes and counts to ten before going out in search of the others; but if he turns early, it is not fair; -“there is no point to it”- someone yells, the game stops being fun and loses its point. Cheating is not allowed, getting angry and throwing the board when you are about to lose is not allowed; some do so, but everybody else knows that it is not allowed, regardless of the eye of the beholder.
Teenagers are also very sensitive to these situations, sometimes they cheat in tests, take out money of mom’s purse to invite their girlfriend to the movies, they “steal” the car to go to a party when their parents are away and they find a way to justified it depending on the eye of the beholder. But there are times when they know it is not like that, and few things hurt them as much as knowing they have been tricked or betrayed by their parents or teachers. If a father punishes his son, or a teacher reprehends a student for a fault he made, if they didn’t want to listen even though he could prove it wasn’t like that, the claim will be immediate: It’s not fair!
I think adults can learn a lot from the intuition of kids and teenagers. It isn’t true that in business and in war everything goes, and neither is it true that we can justify everything with our point of view. If some do it or if all do it, if it is the way things are done here, it does not mean it is right to do so. Sometimes “the eye of the beholder” is simply an excuse to try and justify our professional incapacity, our lack of responsibility and civic behavior or our lack of respect to the rights of those who surround us. That is why “is it allowed” is a fundamental question that should precede all our actions, think before you act and decide if what I am about to do is right; that is the starting point for an honest and reasonable life, respecting my dignity and that of others. And that is why it is also important to form our conscience so that it learns to differentiate what is allowed and what is not, being this in our personal, family, professional or civic life.
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